Winter Chill...
Therapy 7/14/03
(2003-07-14, 10:05 a.m.)
My obsessing thoughts are icky today. I'm talking aloud to myself, repeating conversations over and over. Thinking about possible situations and their circumstances.

Therapy today:

Talked about disconnecting: discussed forgetting who I am/how I am. She suggested co-dependence and derealization; pulling back when vulnerable.

Talked about Christa coming. She had already thought of a plan. No biggie.

Read the poem. She thought I should be proud. She thought it was publishable. She said she could give it to 20 other patients and they would say, "Hey, this is about me!" She said nothing in there was unreasonable to ask for and she said, "I agree".

Talked about my money spending.

Get off the computer. Let Danny look at the vacuum cleaner. Get to sleep before 11pm. Take out the garbage.

She also said when therapy was over, I wouldn't feel 'this' way.

Said next week was all set; the week after, she was on vacation. Then she would be back but my appointment would be later in the day. She said because I know you don't do well with change. She said the chairs will be gone so she can get better chairs for her back.

She asked me about physical therapy without a doctor's referrel and if that was done. I didn't mind answering. Now, I am feeling responsible for her back (I am assuming she wanted to see one for her back). Do I send her a list of good PTs and a recommended book and pages of exercises? Or do I back off and not say anything/do anything? I don't want the responsability because I don't want to be wrong.

She also talked about (again) her crying when she doesn't know something or can't figure something out, ie computer. I felt the need to come to her rescue. She was telling me that as an example about no one knowing everything. I need to be okay with the fact that she is human.

Overall, I believe it was a good session. Especially considering the fact that I went to sleep at 4:30am and was up at 7:45am.

Oh, and I have too much debt and should talk to someone who knows about that kind of thing. And I have a poverty of relationships and that is one reason I value the therapy relationship so highly.

And why did I put this in my private diary? I guess I thought I should. I wanted to leave my poem up longer on the other one. Bah: attention seeking;)